Speaker 1: 0:41

Welcome back to the podcast. I'm super excited for this episode. We are continuing the conversation that we started last week and it's a series called Called Out and Called Up, and last week we talked a lot about the stretch, oh the stretch. I have been walking through a stretch of a year, and last week, in the episode before, if you missed it, I highly recommend going back and listening to it because it sets the stage for this particular podcast, but also if you're in the middle of a shift in your life, you'll find it super relatable. Last year so I turned 52, last week actually, and I do a lot of reflection on my birthday. I love that. I'm a July baby, so I don't know any different. You have like New Year's resolutions and for me it's part of my rhythm, it's part of my routine to do a solid check-in with myself, and I'll share with you a few things that I do. They may sound silly to you, but I highly recommend it, no matter what, because it has been pretty transformational. Okay, if you're brand new to the podcast, I just want to say hello, I'm so glad that you're here. Thank you for tuning in and listening and if you've been a longtime friend of the podcast. Thank you for being here.

Speaker 1: 2:09

My name is Amy Ramsey. I'm your host, high performance coach, nutrition, integrative health coach, life coach all the things. I really bring a very integrative, faith-fueled perspective to our lives. Most of the listeners here are in that midlife phase over 40 years old, midlife and beyond and today I want to just share with you. So last week I talked about the stretch, this week I want to talk about the shift and I shared last week that when I was around 42 years old that's when I started to really make a decision of where I was not going to stay in my life and that decision to move forward was so it was so hard. And so when I have women come to me and they feel so stuck and they're not living up to their potential and they feel bad about it and they don't know their purpose, I can go back so quickly and relate so quickly. I will never forget how that feels, ever. And when women come to me and they maybe have been through a lot of whatever, for whatever reason, a lot of trauma, and they're stuck in cycles of guilt and shame, oh my gosh. Again I can relate with that because I was so stuck with that and at 42, I made the decision that I was not going to stay there, and every step out of that was so hard. So, as we talk about this, as I share this, this with you, I'm going to give you some pointers to take away. But this has been a decade of becoming.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Last week, I shared on the podcast previous to this one. I shared how hard it was to do the things that I did. Last year I did a summit for the first time ever. Oh my gosh, it was just a matter of obedience. It wasn't even a matter of oh, I think I want to do it. It's like I know God told me to do it. I just went and did it and then, as I was recording the podcast, it was the very last day of being 51. I had just received in my hand the first copy of the Walkworthy Faith Fueled High Performance Planner. What Are you kidding me? Like, that's so incredible. On the last day of that year, it just was this incredible feeling of all of the hard work. Oh, I could cry right now. All of the hard work is starting to pay off.

Speaker 1: 4:57

But let me tell you something it was not in the year 51. No, my friend. It has been in the last decade and every step of the way has been out of the comfort zone. Every step along the way has been a step of becoming, and I didn't mean to get emotional on there, but I'm so passionate about this because too many people are stuck on the sidelines of their life because of that initial stretch and it's uncomfortable and it's hard and that becomes a stop sign to them and I'm so grateful that I was, that God was with me, I had good mentors in my life, I surrounded myself with really good people that helped to push me through that stretch and to become the person who could do the things that I've done. It did not happen. It didn't happen quickly, and that's what I want to share with you today.

Speaker 1: 6:06

Is this decade of the shift, the decade of becoming. I didn't know who I was. They say you hang around, you become who you hang around. But what if you don't even know who you are, who you are or who you're becoming yet who you are or who you're becoming yet. So let's just talk about what the shift isn't. It isn't just external, it's not just new rules, new roles, new assignments, a new season. No, the shift is much, much deeper, intimate and more personal than that. The shift is internal. It's identity, it's belief, it's healing in real time. Starting when you're not ready, it's alignment, and all of this, my friend, takes time. Starting when you're not ready, it's alignment, and all of this, my friend, takes time.

Speaker 1: 7:12

One of the things that was really clear to me is that I, to become her, meant that I had to shed versions, old, outdated versions of myself. And each level I hate to say success, that's not the word I'm looking for but each level that I would break through to each breakthrough how about? That? Required a new version of me. Right now, I'm sitting at the cusp of a breakthrough and it's scaring the crap out of me. It's a new version of myself. I can't get to that breakthrough and through the breakthrough and become her where I am right now, nor can you to get to your next breakthrough. You can't either. So when you're at that line of having that internal disruption, and when you finally decide, wait a minute, hold up. This life is a gift, my life is a gift. Not only is it a gift, I'm created in God's image and he has good works for me to do.

Speaker 1: 8:23

When you get to that point and you get tired of just looking like you got it all together. I mean, listen, I wore that as a poster child and smiled and the whole. Oh, I'm fine, girl, how you doing? Here's what we say down here in the South. Now I don't know where you live and you'll have to let me know if this is the thing In the South. What we do is say hi, how are you? Oh, I'm fine, how are y'all? And when we ask how are you doing, we actually don't mean tell me how you're doing, how's your heart, all the things. It really just means hello. Basically, that's all it means. But even past that, I never got past that. Oh, yeah, fine, I'm good. And when we finally break through that and we look for being authentic and showing up truly as we are, maybe it's reaching out for help, finding other like-minded people that can listen. If you're not doing okay, hey, help me. I'm struggling here.

Speaker 1: 9:43

When I launched this whole Fit Soul which, by the way, I'm about to go through a massive rebrand Stay tuned for that. That'll be fun. It actually is gonna be a lot of fun. But when I started to step into entrepreneurship, I was not feeling comfortable. I was absolutely unsure. And let me tell you something I was used to hiding. So when I decided to take my brand in a business and move it online, whoo, oh my gosh, it shook me to my core. It wasn't about showing up perfectly. I had to learn very, very quickly. It was just about doing what I felt like God was calling me to do.

Speaker 1: 10:24

At the beginning of my business, it was very much health coaching, fitness, nutrition oriented. But the more I worked in that space and I love that space still, it's still very much part of who I am there was just more. I knew that I wanted to help women specifically have a deeper level transformation, longer standing than just when I'm working with them. So I shifted from the health coaching, fitness space into identity and impact. This is so powerful because this is what transformed me and this is what I coach on. This is what I coach my clients on. High performance coaching is about identity. It's about becoming Back to the starting story of this. This has been a decade of becoming and that just gives me like massive god bumps everywhere, because the if we can enjoy the journey instead of just thinking, okay, it's all going to be great when I arrive there and too many of us are are caught up in that and God's like no, no wait, like I love you. Just you are and I do want you to continue to grow and evolve and be stronger and more resilient.

Speaker 1: 11:53

When I started to make this shift from like the fitness, health, coaching space into identity and impact, what I started to realize is most women they didn't need a plan, they don't need just a plan, they needed a framework for becoming. They don't need just a plan, they needed a framework for becoming. So let me tell you a quick story. It was my birthday last week. I'm not trying to harp on my birthday. I feel like I've said that like three or four times already in this podcast.

Speaker 1: 12:23

I was supposed to go to a conference that I wanted to go to and when the time came to purchase the ticket and make the reservation and plans and go, I just struggled. For whatever reason and I'm like a conference junkie I struggled to go. I struggled to push, go and purchase the ticket. I hem-hawed around. In fact, there's a lady in one of my coaching groups who decided to go to the conference because she heard me mention it, something.

Speaker 1: 12:58

For all the reason, I just couldn't do it. I just didn't feel right about it. I had a free place to stay. It was in Charlotte, north Carolina. My girlfriend has an apartment there. She's like can you stay in my apartment for free? I'm like, okay, great, I can use my points. So my plane ticket's free, I have a free place to stay and the conference ticket for a conference is not over the top and this will be a great thing to do. It's right around my birthday time and week. This could be just a fun little getaway for me around my birthday time and week. This could be just a fun little getaway for me. Anyway, I never could do it. I couldn't seem to push go on it.

Speaker 1: 13:31

Finally, when I did think, okay, well, if I'm going to do it, I have to do it, I went to go get my ticket. Would you believe it was sold out and I just laughed so loud because I'm like and that was my answer I wasn't supposed to go. But what I didn't know was that God had something totally different for me. This past week my son, who has been out of the country for a year and a half, came back and it was a surprise, and a wonderful surprise, and I was able to go see both of my children and spend time with them, and all of the empty nesting mamas, especially when your babies don't live in the same area, much less the same state, much less. I mean, part of that was the same country, oh my gosh. And then my husband was so precious he spoiled me. He's like, well, just go stay. He goes, I'm going to put you up in this hotel. I want you to go stay.

Speaker 1: 14:30

I had a little bit of work to do but, quite honestly, I needed to disconnect and I needed a little bit of time to myself. I needed to reconnect with myself. I need you to hear that I needed to go and reconnect with myself. The me 10 years ago wouldn't have known that. Remember, I said I didn't know myself.

Speaker 1: 14:50

This version knows that I skated into 52. I've done a lot of hard things, a lot of big things last year and I just needed a moment, one of the things that I do. I said I was going to share with you a couple of my strategies. My birthday's in July, so I just started doing this five years ago. Okay, five years ago I take on my birthday a clean sheet of paper, a pretty notebook.

Speaker 1: 15:24

I like to start with a brand new notebook because I like to journal and I go through 52 things. I'm thankful for whatever year it is I'm thankful for over the last year. I capture the gratitude and the moments that happened over the over that, like last 365 days. Can I tell you that one thing is so powerful? Because we forget, we forget all of the little things that happens. But when you take and make that space and you're like, okay, wait, wait, wait, I am going to really sink into this. You remember little bitty things and it's so fun to go back and look and see what matters most to you. It's never stuff, let me tell you. It's never stuff, it's usually moments, let me tell you. It's never stuff, it's usually moments. And then you get to see what matters most to you and then I take, and I do, 52 things that I want moving into this next year.

Speaker 1: 16:19

So I just take how old I am and then I literally like I'm such a child at heart, I guess, on that cute new notebook I write one, two, three, four, like I go ahead and write all of the numbers all the way down and I partner with God, ask him to help me. What do I want? What do I want more of next year, what do I want next year? And it's really fun when you start to. You start with the gratitude of the things that mattered most. You start to see a connection of what maybe you'd like more of, what you want less of what. What do you want less of? And it's always so helpful to be reminded of.

Speaker 1: 17:03

Okay, yeah, these are the things that I need to work a little harder at my distractions. I can do better. Some of the bad habits I have I can do better, and I'm just able to identify what do I want? More of? More health, more energy, more moments with my people, more moments with people very specific 52 of them, and I wasn't done yet. So I wanted to share that exercise with you Because now's a good time to do it. I don't care if your birthday's in October or feels like in January, so what. It's kind of that. It's we're, you know, at that halfway point in the year, and it's just a great time to reconnect with yourself.

Speaker 1: 17:51

And that's what I did on that trip. I reconnected with myself. I was able to spend time with my children and connect with them. That's so beautiful. This is this connection and reconnection is crucial for joy and happiness, things that matter most. I was able to reconnect with my husband. We had the best time. We went hiking. We had friends that came over. They drove down from Utah Ryan and Christy Belliston and we did some hiking. We cooked some food in Airbnb, that was. It was so funny because it was like, oh wow, okay, it was in, it didn't matter. It didn't matter. All that mattered is that we were together. We just kind of laughed because the yard wasn't what you would think it would be and the location was a little bit different, but it was perfect. It was so perfect. We got to reconnect with friends and disconnect from work, disconnect from technology, disconnect from my phone, and get outside and hike longer than we anticipated. I'm telling you, one day we did almost a 13-mile hike. I had no idea I didn't eat breakfast. I was very much underprepared.

Speaker 1: 19:15

Anyway, that's another story, but what I want to share with you is that connection to yourself is so important in this place of the shift and staying true to that All right, let's move forward. So what's important to do and to recognize here, as you continue and move forward, is cutting off the things that are no longer fruitful, saying no to good things that are not God things, maybe even tapering down or even ending relationships that are not healthy for you or routines that don't reinforce the woman of strength, valor, energy that you are becoming and making more room for the right alignment to grow. We have to cut off those old things. John 15.2 says he prunes the branches so that they bear fruit and become even more fruitful. That was my probably poor version.

Speaker 1: 20:34

I don't have a Bible right here in front of me so I'm recording this but basically it's a hard process to prune away the things that aren't producing fruit in your life. God doesn't prune dead things. He prunes what's fruitful, so it can multiply. But let me ask you this what in your life you know needs to be pruned away? What in your life are you sure of? If you're just maybe looking over your habits and you're like you know what, if I actually really addressed this one habit right here, I know, I know that I know pruning that is going to make me more fruitful, or I know that if I practice this one thing, this is absolutely going to be like a domino effect in my life and to move forward. So in this journey, in this stretch, in this last 10 years and I'm just hey, I'm just getting started up in here it has been a process of healing, and healing from the root.

Speaker 1: 21:47

This shift has been all about shedding old versions of myself and also healing not just putting on the the areas that kept me playing small, still keep me playing too small and healing from the root. You have to have new habits in place. This is why I love the high performance habits and the science behind it. One of the habits is courage. That became my focus last year was to be more courageous and to have courageous conversations and to not shy away from actually speaking what was on my heart and my soul and my mind, because that's what I would do. I don't like conflict. I don't want to cause any conflict. In fact, I could be a chameleon. It's all good. Basically, big fat people pleaser. And the more healed I became, the more I realized that this was not just people pleasing. No, this is me being a coward. Honestly, I'm scared to stand up for myself. That's being a coward. That's not okay. That's part of that healing from the root.

Speaker 1: 23:19

Now, I didn't start there 10 years ago. 10 years ago, I was still stuck in patterns of people pleasing and over the last 10 years I just stayed committed to the version of being healthy and whole. I had to face the root of rejection, which is where a lot of my struggles came from Self-doubt, insecurity, and one of them I'm telling you this was a root too was performance-driven identity. I felt good about myself if I made a little accomplishment. I felt that Then I would feel good about myself, and I had to learn the hard way. But I learned it was a very hard lesson was that my worthiness cannot be earned. I don't have to perform or prove for it. God sees me and has deemed me his own and there's nothing I can do to prove this. Now I don't have that performance-driven identity, but I have a real passion to move forward, healing from the root that beginning work.

Speaker 1: 24:28

You have to think new thoughts and create new patterns and learn to generate different emotions, and this is a process I'll be. I'm going to be sharing some cool new things with you guys in the upcoming. We don't have time to break it down today, but the truth loop and the stuck cycle I want to give you some resources that I just wrote and came up with and I they're, they're powerful and it really helps to identify where you're staying stuck. When I started to learn that I actually was. Not only can I choose my thoughts, but I'm actually responsible for my thoughts what I didn't understand, that I didn't know, that I mean you don't know what you don't know, and then that I can generate the emotions that I want to have and that in this becoming I can really my focus as a believer is to become more like Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, and to have the mind of Christ.

Speaker 1: 25:34

Paul says to think on these things whatever's true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy. Think on these things. How can I train my mind to focus on that? This was a process, and yours is too. No matter if you're already on your journey or you're just starting, or maybe you're like crushing it. You're like, yeah, girl, yeah, yeah, yeah, same, same, same, awesome. There's always room for improvement for all of us, improvement for all of us.

Speaker 1: 26:17

So the last thing that I wanted to share is becoming her In this shift. It's a process of becoming the woman that leads with truth, with courage, with spiritual grit, the woman who can do the things that God's calling her to do and follow through with obedience, the one who's not afraid of the stretch. Why? Because she's anchored in who God says she is and her yes is on the table. So let me just wrap up with you may not be where you want to be yet, but are you willing to become the kind of woman that will follow through and obey God and do what God's calling you to do? Oftentimes, before God gives us the next assignment, he calls us to become the kind of person that can handle it, and we get to do that by becoming her. So thank you for listening, thank you for being here, thank you for wanting more in your own life, and I pray that maybe just a little bit of my story, especially this over the last decade, will inspire you to keep going, keep moving forward.

Speaker 1: 27:49

As we're wrapping up, I want to just let you know, just in case you don't know I coach women on these very biblical principles, along with the science of high performance, with decades worth of coaching experience, and this is what I am called to do and I absolutely love it. I have a walk worthy mentorship and a group of women that are doing the things. They're moving forward, they, they're they. There is community like true community in there. It's a beautiful thing and I would love to invite, if you're looking for maybe some structure, some support to help you get to the next level and you want it biblically based and you want to move forward, I want to invite you to take a look at that. You can reach out to me. You can go to the show notes it's at walkworthythefitsoulcom. Then also do one on one coaching as well, and I would love to support you in any way that I can. I want you to know that I'm cheering you on. I thank you for being here. I honor you for being here. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 28:54

Would you do me a huge favor? Would you share this? If you found value, share it with somebody else. And number two, would you download it and leave a review? Actually, that's number two and three. That was two more things. Downloads matter in the podcast world. It just is what it is Reviews, your reviews, help to push this out to more people, isn't that crazy? Who knew right? Anyhow, I love you. Come back next week and we're going to finish up this series called Out and Called Up. I love you so much. All right, my friend, bye-bye.