Speaker 1: 0:43

Hey friend, welcome back to the Fit Soul Podcast and YouTube, wherever you're consuming. This content I am really excited to share. I've had some breakthroughs in my life and it was some mindset shifts that I was able to finally get to some root causes of some of my struggles, and I feel like this could be a breakthrough for you too. I know I've been sharing it a little bit my Walkworthy mentorship and they've been grateful to get this information. So here's I'm dying to share this with you today. So welcome back to the podcast or, if you're brand new, hey, I'm so glad you're here.

Speaker 1: 1:22

But here's what I want to ask you what if I told you, the very thing you think is protecting you is actually keeping you stuck in midlife and beyond, in this second half of life? It is such a sacred space and time in our lives, but so many people are still stuck. They're playing small, they're holding back, they think they're too old, they think it's too late, they're hiding behind. I'm fine, I'm fine. I don't know if you can relate with that. Probably you can right. So this episode today is not. I want to help maybe make some connections for you and name some of the silent strategies that could be sabotaging your impact, because here's a truth bomb right here. You can't walk in your purpose and hide at the same time. Bam mic, drop right there. Let me repeat that one more time, and you may want to write this down you cannot walk in your purpose and hide at the same time. Nope, you cannot. So what I want to share with you is kind of uncovering some truths. Uncovering some truths we have been talking about how to stop striving and start thriving. What is it that? How do we stop the cycles episode?

Speaker 1: 3:15

On my last podcast, episode, number 123, I really went pretty deep and broke down some big shifts that I've been having with the place of understanding how I was making in my mind, like I was able to get to root causes, and in my mind, somehow or another, the idea of not enough time kept me in this hustle and striving. Oh, my gosh, I've got to hurry and do this. There's not enough time. There's not enough time, like I love abundance. And when I started to realize, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's a scarcity mindset around time. God holds time, there's plenty of time, there's enough. So I really broke that down and if you haven't heard that episode, I would definitely go back and listen to that, episode 123.

Speaker 1: 4:12

Today we're kind of playing on that. We're going. We're just going to take it from a different angle. I'm not going to talk so much about scarcity versus abundance, but what I do want to talk about is self-focus to purpose, how to shift from a place of self-focus to a place of other-focused, and we're going to talk about what does self-protection mean and how can that maybe even be showing up in your life. So a couple of ways that you can think about self-protection. All right, are you ready?

Speaker 1: 4:54

Is I don't want to put myself out there, I might fail. It's like we hit this midlife and beyond stage and it's a whole new world. So many of our roles and responsibilities that had defined us for so long have absolutely shifted and changed, and now it's a new time and a new space, and so we might feel inadequate or we haven't skilled up enough yet, or we just don't. You know we haven't been, we haven't been keeping up with all of the, the, the latest. Oh my gosh. Technology is changing so fast and so many things are changing so fast, and so we've just feel super behind, and so we don't want to put ourselves out there at all because we might fail or it might look like if I just stay kind of small or play kind of small or kind of be quiet, then I won't rock the boat and nobody can really judge me, right, I don't want to. If I stay this small, I won't be judged or I'm fine, I don't need help. There's something about just feeling like that. Maybe asking for help is wrong, in that we should be, should look, should, shoulda, coulda, woulda. We should be competent enough to do that at this stage in our life, and we're maybe we're not, and so we feel a struggle.

Speaker 1: 6:10

There here's a few more is like what if I'm not enough? And what if I'm not enough? So then, therefore, I'm not going to move forward and activate on whatever that is, and so I go back to protecting myself on whatever that is, and so I go back to protecting myself. Avoiding any type of being vulnerable or any type of exposure feels unbelievably frightening. Therefore, let me play safe. This is self-protecting. We all do it, self-protection. Listen, I am stepping all over my toes. If you listen to this or are watching this and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm just going to tell you right now, girl, it is for both of us. I'm stepping all over my toes, but I truly, truly, truly believe to the core of everything that I am. There's so much freedom. If you can make some connections, this could help you get to some root issues.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Because here's another one hiding behind busyness the badge of busy, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm like. This makes you feel important. It makes you feel like you're, um, you know, uh, you're earning your worth some way. Somehow I'm busy or perfection, like everything's going to be just perfect. The appearance has to look certain ways. I want to share a quick little story with you. I think so many, so much of this can show up in ways like we hear that, oh, you know the badge of busy, busyness or perfection, and oh yeah, but we know it's progress over perfection. But what? Where might it be in our own lives? You know we're often blinded to our own faults.

Speaker 1: 8:11

I had the privilege of having a friend over last week and I'm recovering from some surgery, and we happened to have a party at my house for one of my husband's employees. That's no luck, very dear, not no longer going to be on his team. So we had to go in a white party and I'm recovering from surgery, so I'm very limited in what I could do. So I called my friend. I'm like hey, can you help me get ready for this party? It's simple tasks, but I'm just I need some help. She's like, absolutely so. It was really interesting for me to delegate tasks that I could do but I wasn't physically able to do and there was a time crunch that she had. So I was like okay, so let's do so. She helped me set the table. She helped me, she arranged some flowers. She helped me get some of my spring stuff out and get set up. A little bit of wiping down things here and there and pulling out some serving dishes and kind of getting it set up.

Speaker 1: 9:25

What was really interesting in my mind, what was just a simple party, not a big deal, let's go grab this, this, this, this In my mind, what was regular to do? She was like no, don't do that, that's too much, nobody cares. I'm like what? Really Okay? And then I mentioned okay, let's move this and let's add this I can't remember what it was and she was like, no, nobody cares. And the reality was is she and I were both running out of time, like we needed to wrap it up. We didn't. Neither one of us had all day long. But what I was just casually quote unquote having this party, was perfectionism. And it was so great because I had someone else to be able to say, yeah, no, you don't need to do that. And she didn't say, oh, this is perfectionism. She was like, no, just keep it easy, keep it simple, nobody cares about that. I was like, oh my gosh, this again. Is that busyness, this is that perfection.

Speaker 1: 11:33

It shows up in so many different ways. For us here's an interesting quote is fear often dresses itself up as wisdom, especially in women who've been burned before. Isn't that interesting. Fear sometimes looks like wisdom in our lives. But when we're able to like, go wait a minute, I can live from this operating system of fear or love In God's economy. We live from love and we can. But fear sabotages us, fear slows us down. Imperfect love cast out all fear. But the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, and so like there's this banner of fear. So it's like this constant battle, like how do we break free of the fear and live out of love?

Speaker 1: 12:26

It's kind of like putting you know, we're called to things, god's calling us to things, and the more we can get freed up to things. God's calling us to things, and the more we can get freed up, the more we can get freed from self-protection, the more we can get freed from any banner of fear, of scarcity of some of these other things that I'm about to share with you is the more we can walk fully alive, fully in our calling, fully in our purpose. Listen, this is the whole walk-worthy mission. This is that whole thing. Walk worthy of the calling for which you are called.

Speaker 1: 12:57

But it's kind of like when you're playing it safe and you don't put yourself out there because what are other people going to think? I might be judged, I don't know how to do it. I feel inadequate. It's just safer when we start to, actually, when we're able to go okay, wait a minute, this is self-protection, it it's keeping me safe, but it's sabotage. Okay, and it's kind of like putting your calling in a Tupperware container and sealing it really, really, really tight, really tight, so nothing spills. It's safe, but it's also useless. It's also useless.

Speaker 1: 13:39

There is a toll of playing small. There is a hidden cost that you will pay. When you shrink, you're going to miss divine appointments. When you're playing small, you will disconnect from meaningful community and not show up authentically, not show up in transparency. You know you've always got to protect yourself. It also, by playing small and shrinking it, delays the healing and restoration process. So much of our healing and us walking out in that fully alive, that thriving, is such a process and so much of it takes place in community. So here's the thing Sometimes silence isn't surrender, it's sabotage.

Speaker 1: 14:32

I know that there was a time in my life where I was walking through some of what I'm sharing with you now, but without words. Do you know how, when you're going through life, oftentimes you don't have like vocabulary around what's going on in your heart and soul, but you feel it and I remember so so clearly. One I had a kind of an epiphany One night I was talking to a friend and she was sharing with me some struggles that she had had and how she walked through that and she's come out of it on the other side and I remember thinking it was. I had one of those aha moments. You know what I'm talking about. I had an aha moment that helped me realize that if I didn't actually start standing up and using my voice and speaking what I wanted to do and what I felt called to do that. I was going to live with a ton of regret and it required every bit of courage that I had to start stepping up, to start using my voice. And I want you to hear this if you struggle, if you struggle with thinking okay, and maybe you're not even thinking I'm scared to speak up because it'll rock the boat with my boss or my spouse or my family members or my friends, like I don't want to step up, I don't want to like, share, authentically myself. I want you to hear this. You, authentically yourself, is beautiful. And I want to say what I said just a minute ago Silence isn't surrender, it's self-sabotage. And you might be like me, it took all of the courage I had to learn how to start using my voice. Okay, the enemy doesn't have to destroy you, he just has to convince you to mute yourself. Man, that one hurts right.

Speaker 1: 16:49

Philippians 2.3 says true humility lifts others, but it doesn't disappear. When we start talking about this, I feel like I don't even need to preface this with. I feel like I don't even need to preface this with. Oh, you know, be careful of what you say. I have met too many women, over and over and over again, who are just scared to use their voice or they don't think their voice is significant. I struggle with it still to this day.

Speaker 1: 17:14

We are on episode number what is this? Did I say 124? Episode number 124 of this podcast. I coach a large group of women. I am a speaker, I am actually right now it kind of makes me a little nervous to say this but I'm writing my first book to get into publication and I still struggle. Does anybody want to hear my voice? Does anybody want to hear what I say? This is the enemy. The enemy is like no, let me keep her silent Again. It's safer if we self-protect, right?

Speaker 1: 17:47

So what I want to invite you to is that your midlife and beyond is a launching pad. It is a divine invitation for you to step into the fullness of your beautiful creation, of the way the father made you. It is a divine activation waiting for you on the other side. But it was going to require some vulnerability and you're not too late. No, girl, girl, no, you are right on time.

Speaker 1: 18:26

If God didn't have a plan for you, for your voice in this season, you just wouldn't still be here. That's just the way that that is. But every single day you wake up and you have breath. There's a purpose for you. There's a plan for you. As Gabby used to always say, god has a plan and his plan is good. And when I am looking at it like that and I understand that all of this, my life here, is meant and my own healing process is meant so I can live in my true identity and go and be a. Use this voice as a vessel. Use this voice to encourage other people. I love that.

Speaker 1: 19:07

Hebrews 10, 24 says let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works. I can't do that if I'm not using my voice. I can't do that if I'm not using my spiritual gifts. I can't do that as well if I am too scared to get out there. The world needs more people to step up, girl, the world needs you. So I want to ask you where can you step up?

Speaker 1: 19:32

Where have you been shrinking back, playing small, worried about what other people are going to think, worried about the approval of men as opposed to the approval of God? There's so much here. There's so much freedom on the other side, and here's what I want to share with you. Here's where I want to encourage you is just to have that awareness around this and to understand that you are called and created for this particular season of your life and that God has a plan and a purpose for it. And so what I want to ask you is where have you been shrinking or silencing yourself to be safe? What fear might you be calling wisdom? And it might just be avoidance. I know that's a tough question. It's a fair one, though, right? So here's what I want to activate you, baby. What would be one brave thing you feel like God is nudging you to say or do this week? What would be one thing that's going to require you to be courageous, to step out? Maybe it's to speak to somebody or to take an action.

Speaker 1: 20:51

So what I want to share with you is that there is a plan and there's purpose, and the more that you can start to realize and recognize, just kind of like I did with that whole scarcity abundance. I was like, well, I didn't think that I had some scarcity of mindset. I was like, oh my gosh. But when I did, now I can look at, like how my perspective and go, okay, god's got this, let's walk in abundance. Oh, my goodness, can I tell you I have so much more peace when I'm able to look at with this perspective of may I be? Maybe I'm self-promoting, excuse me, self-protecting, self-protecting here, and so I'm shrinking, I'm hiding, I'm playing small, and it almost. When I started to really make the connections with the places, I felt that typically there was like some victim mentality and some some different mindsets where I would kind of feel like, well, I just said a victim, and so self-protection felt safer, kind of disguised as wisdom.

Speaker 1: 21:53

I hope this has been helpful for you and what I would love for you to do is to take a step. Move forward is to take a step. Move forward. Do the hard thing, be courageous, be strong. If you're struggling, I want you to know like join a group, get an accountability partner, get a small group. I have a group of women that are moving forward and it's called the Walkworthy Mentorship and this is a lot of the teachings that you're hearing here. We focus on that but like the activation plan and the regular coaching to help move forward.

Speaker 1: 22:32

So I want to encourage you keep going, keep moving forward, make those connections here, um of of self-protection, and let's move forward out of it, because God wants you to take it off, because here's the thing he wants you to move from that to purpose. Any type of self-protection or self-promotion is self and God's like. Let's focus on others, okay, well, thank you for being here today. I would love for you to do me a couple of things. Would you download this there's a, it's so simple, but your downloads actually really, really matter and would you share this episode with somebody else? I would appreciate it so much. All right, my friend, have an incredible day and go walk worthy, live fully alive, thrive, be everything that God is calling you to be. I am cheering you on.